I am awaiting the triumphant emergence of K from the mysterious back of a hair salon/aesthetics studio. While surfing the Intertubes, I read a story in Alberta HuffPo about a kid who got suspended from school for defending himself from a group of bullies. Really? Is this where we're heading?
Back in the day, I used to get bullied. I was a cute slight little blonde kid with glasses. There was name-calling and fighting. It didn't take me long to figure out that these kids would not stop until I stopped them.
I started fighting back. The next kid that shoved me got kicked in the groin. The next one that pushed me got hit in the face. It didn't take long for the bullies to figure out that I wouldn't take their abuse and they wisely moved on to kids who were easier marks.
Part of me wishes that I had never had to resort to violence and that everything could be resolved with level-headed words. The rest of me knows that the little pacifist part of me is living in a fantasy land. There are times when words fail, and if all you have in your own defence is a vocabulary, then you're going to have trouble with some people.
If you act like a victim, you are a victim. People will read it on your face and will continue bullying you. In my professional life, I ran into a few characters in management that were essentially schoolyard bullies raised to power. I watched one of these dudes act like a total ass and the victim just took it. No response, no defence, nothing. That bully never tried anything like that with me. Bullies know when they come up against someone who will not take the abuse. Barrooms or boardrooms, it's all the same thing. If you are a victim, someone will treat you like one.
Back to my point... If we penalize people for standing up, all we're teaching them to do is lay down.
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